Change of direction (French version)

Dream #1: Change of direction

Share: I'm on the road with a friend, Laurent, to see the musical HAIR.
Created in October 1967, it is the product of the hippie counter culture and the sexual revolution of the 1960s. Some of these songs, inspired by the New Age theory, became anthems of the pacifist movements against the Vietnam war.
Laurent is 24 years old (I am 42), we sing in the same choir. He currently lives with his parents and is looking for a new place to live. I ask him where he is in his search. He tells me that he would like to buy a bigger house than he had originally planned, since he has the project of living with a friend. He ends up telling me that it is HIS boyfriend he wants to live with. I am upset, I did not expect Laurent to love a man. I am inwardly upset, sad and rekindled in my own homosexual tendency.
Why couldn't I live this simply like him? Laurent is indeed a simple and stable boy in my eyes. I, on the contrary, have been having one-night stands for years like a drug addict, relationships without heart or commitment, destroying myself in the process. My only real attempt at a couple life lasted 5 months and was a failure. For a year, I stopped all sexual practices to rebuild myself. I have been doing much better since then, I have regained my vital force, my ability to center myself, to concentrate and especially, my connection with Heaven. My project is to live a relationship with a woman, and who knows, have one or two children? For the past year, I have been taming my fears of the other. It is important to know that I am physically attracted to Laurent, besides a more "romantic" attraction to someone who I feel will not fulfill my expectations in terms of deep affinities. Also, I had told myself some time ago that I had to change my expectations of him in order to feel free and autonomous in this friendship. I didn't sleep much the next night. Moreover, I have been living for years in an apartment in an old house with very poor acoustic insulation. But here is the story of Laurent that puts me back in front of myself, my destiny, my choice. I think that Heaven is testing me once again to allow me to firm up my own choice, my new life project. My upstairs neighbor is indeed very noisy, goes to bed late making noise and coming home late at night (slams doors, doesn't lower her voice, etc.). I have been using earplugs every night for years. This night, I didn't want to put them in, taking the risk that she would wake me up. And that's it: she came back home around 5 o'clock in the morning with a friend. After a while, I heard their voices getting louder, they had an explanation (not a real fight I think). I hesitated to put my earplugs in, but then I thought I didn't have to. During their conversation, I thought the man had a reasonable tone in his voice and was defending himself honestly. I suspect that my neighbor is often acting in bad faith and manipulating without her realizing it. She reminds me of a sister of mine who often manipulated and disrespected me, thinking she could have everyone at her mercy.
I am wondering if I should continue to put the balls on to guarantee me a continuous sleep each night or, if not, if I should not move.

Dream #2: Legacy

Dream: I invoke the angels Yerathel and Mitzrael and this dream has stirred me up a lot. I am with my spouse and the children in a garden center, I want to buy potting soil wrapped in a beautiful green plastic to plant in the garden because it is spring. My spouse doesn't listen to me and that makes me angry.
Other scene, I am at my parents' place in my childhood apartment. There are 2 showcases, one with watches and one with gold jewelry. These showcases were given to me by my parents in inheritance during their lifetime. There is my spouse and my 2 children with me. I tell my spouse that I would like to sell all these watches and jewels because I will never wear them, "I might as well sell them than leave them there, at the risk of having them stolen". I hear that one of the watches of the collection has a lot of value if it dates from the 60's, because the mechanism is rare, to check.
My spouse doesn't listen to me. So I want to talk to my mom about it but it's not happening. He has my dad and my brother (in the (+) he wants to help, is altruistic, takes the responsibilities of head of the family, in the (-) need for recognition, a lot of social. During my childhood my brother was my role model, I admired him and always wanted to please him but he did not like that I always wanted to be with him) and he does not listen to me.
So I want to make an appointment with my brother to talk about it. He is at my uncle's house (very emissive energy, very controlling, his job was to train horses, I was afraid of it when I was a child, we lived in the same house). I see myself arriving in front of my childhood house which was a farm with horses, the apartment where we lived was on the 3rd floor. I see my cousin, my uncle's son, (he also works with horses) doing schoolwork with his daughters in the barn part of the farm. I walk up to the front door and see pink baby clothes sitting on a table in front of the door, I think these clothes must belong to my cousin, my uncle's daughter, (also in the horse business) I hope they didn't put them out for me and my future child. My cousin arrives, I'm embarrassed I don't want to see my uncle's family, I just want to go to my childhood apartment. I go in and climb into the apartment with her. There the decor is different, a big room and a kind of gallery on the floor which opens on bedroom doors, the walls are olive-khaki with dark wood, a little British atmosphere. They are preparing a reception as they often do and I am never there. My brother is invited and I want to talk to him. I see an old dark painting with a fallen boat, it was on a stand and the two white porcelain feet that supported it broke, I try to put the feet back but it doesn't fit. I'm embarrassed. Next door, there is an open kitchen and the cook is preparing a big salmon for the reception. I see myself with a white plate in my hands on which is placed a salmon with sliced carrots. Suddenly there is fire in the dish, so I go to the kitchen to put it out with water, the cook is watching that I do not put water in his big dish. I see my brother's bedroom door on the gallery. I see a cousin, a sports journalist by trade in a dark suit, British style, then other men of the family and my grandfather. So I pass, I don't feel like saying hello to my grandfather, but I have to. My brother arrives, comes down the stairs with a haughty air, he wonders what I am doing there. I want to ask him for advice about selling the objects in the windows that I inherited from my parents. I want to go to the room to be quiet, but he doesn't want to. So I don't dare to talk to him and I don't know what to say. I find myself at the top of the stairs on the gallery with my journalist cousin and I try to talk to him but every subject seems out of place. I don't know what I'm doing here and I feel stupid.

Dream #3: The medallion

Dream: We are in the advanced 17th century. I see a group of men in an underground cave. They light themselves with candles or torches. One of them is supposedly an ancestor of mine. Several galvanized cauldrons (they look like the ones we use today to collect maple water) are filled with silver medallions, 2 to 3 centimeters in diameter. They have small spikes all around. I know that a drawing is engraved but I don't see it. One of the men (my ancestor in the dream) takes a medallion and hides it in his eyelash, that is, under the skin at the bottom of his left eyelash. Years go by. By chance, this medallion is found. It is evaluated: it is worth 300,000.00$. We always try to hide it (they are my brothers and sisters, but not those of this life). Sometimes we hide it under a staircase, or on one of the family members. Another time, my sister, dressed all in white, including her hat and dress, hides it under a floor that our father is building. A boiler in which a plastic bag filled with medallions is found would have been recovered by a group. Even if we are in the 17th century, this plastic bag looks like those used nowadays. One of these people is caught by the police of the time. Several plastic bags containing medallions are under the boiler. He gets arrested...