Preparation for childbirth (French version)

Dream #1: Preparation for childbirth

Share: Here is my situation; I am pregnant with my second child and at the very beginning of my pregnancy, I received this dream:

Dream : I was giving birth at the hospital, I was alone with a midwife. The delivery went very well, quickly, I did not have anesthesia, it seems to me, but I did not have pain. I could feel the baby descending and coming out and when it did, I took it on my belly. I put a finger in his mouth and he bit it with his gums briskly without hurting me. I press a little on my chest to make milk come out and it comes out in a jet, it even waters the midwife's papers, I apologize to her.

I don't know how breastfeeding goes with my baby, but I tell myself inwardly that anyway, I will put him to the breast every 15 minutes to give him my milk and not to do as with my first child (this one had lost weight in the first days because he was not sucking efficiently and I had not noticed it and that had required an extension of our stay at the maternity hospital).

I then see myself being able to put my clothes back on, and find my cell phone in my pocket to call my husband. I hold my baby with my left arm and see that I have 68 missed calls, many of them from my husband. I don't sense any concern on his part, but a desire to know if everything went well. He is at work and I will call him. I also tell myself that I will call my parents to inform them, because I don't want to do like my first birth, where they didn't receive our message and were informed late about the birth, they were disappointed...

Then I am surprised that I will have three children, because I already have one, I just had another and it's like I'm still pregnant with my second and I'm going to give birth in a few months so that's three. One staff member thinks we're getting married in the hospital and I tell him we're already married.

Dream #2: Gendarme Profession

Sharing: I would like to share with you a situation that concerns my work and that is currently causing me problems:

I have been working in the police force for almost 20 years now. I was a uniformed gendarme for 5 years, then I joined the judicial police, where I deal with everything related to penal code offences (theft, fire, death, etc.) but mainly with vice and minors.

I specialize in the hearing of children who are victims of abuse or sexual assault (I must admit that this is the part of my job that gives me the most motivation and satisfaction). ) I have had several thoughts of leaving my job because of the "creepy" and dark side of the profession. I applied for different positions that interested me, without success.

I have been working with the Angels for almost 5 years. I know that if I'm still in the police force, I must be learning something... We recently changed offices with my two colleagues and for the first time, I brought plants and personal objects to make my workstation a little more pleasant and lively. We also recently changed our boss and he is a very human person and, in general, well organized and communicative, which was not at all the case with the previous boss. So the atmosphere at work has improved a lot...

However, last tuesday, I had to follow an instruction of shooting called AMOK (these are exercises which concern the interventions in public establishments or other, following the killings which took place a little everywhere in the world in schools, nursery schools, etc... since about ten years). We have to intervene by group, in the establishment, to question the aggressor. In the morning, we did some shooting exercises in a shooting range outside and there, my pistol jammed several times, almost every time, something that had never happened to me before.

In the afternoon, we were shown a film about the massacre in Colombine in 1999 with real camera footage. As for many of my colleagues, it made my blood run cold... I then had big doubts during the intervention exercises in the afternoon, because I told myself that we were going to die if this kind of event happened to us, because the aggressors who do this kind of killings are very well armed, surely better than us and they have nothing to lose...

But this is about trying to save lives...so... It's also true that I've had a big case of conscience about my gun for some time now. I never really liked shooting, but I used to tell myself that I was learning to control my emissive side and it was working fine. Except now, it's like my whole body is rejecting it.

I know that my job is useful and we do, in general, more social and prevention than repression, but in relation to my work to "become a better soul", the carrying of the weapon is probably not very advisable... Therefore, I feel a little lost in relation to this and I would like to have, if possible, clarifications on this subject.